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Author Topic: The Humor Thread  (Read 13918 times)

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Offline way2lon

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Re: Clapton fans....cringe
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2011, 09:56:54 AM »
Here's a little cover of the same song. Gotta be better than the pros on stage  :P
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Offline Glenn

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Re: Clapton fans....cringe
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2011, 11:24:58 AM »
Well, at least we've all had our little 'lift' for the day  :P   

That's a classic! ... a classic case of a few guys gettin' together probably not having played with one another before or rehearsed together before... and then tried to pull off a 'throw away' tune in a quasi-jam staged situation (promo for a music store?)

 - it's a classic case of 'failure to communicate' - and they all got off on the wrong foot, key, etc etc ... when I see that comin' ... I think "oh oh, train wreck ahead".  8)

and... yes CB, I think it is a JJ Cale original.  8) Clapton just made it 'iconic' by popularity - both are great writers and musos IMO.

... goes off singin' "Lay down Sally" ......  dee da dee deee dee da dee...

CHears
« Last Edit: December 21, 2011, 01:49:54 PM by Jim50 / Glenn »
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Offline Glenn

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Re: Clapton fans....cringe
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2011, 01:54:19 PM »
Here's a little cover of the same song. Gotta be better than the pros on stage  :P

Good one W2,

....  the whole band perked up when you cleared your throat at the beginning,  :P - that kept em in line and in time.  drill seargent!  :P  :P

 :)
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Offline BikerBabe

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Re: Clapton fans....cringe
« Reply #38 on: December 23, 2011, 06:41:21 AM »
Heh, the clearing of the throat sounded better than that "band" (of outlaws?  Ought to be, doing that!  Hmm, at least they had the guts/lacked the brains to actually do it, ha!  Is this parenthesis getting too long yet?  I think it just might, so I am going to stop it now.  Here I go, ready?  Aaaaaand...  NOW!  No, wait, missed the mark.  One more time...  Aaaaaaaannnnnd...  N.. Wait for it...  NOW!!) did.  :D
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Offline frankenxtein

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Re: Clapton fans....cringe
« Reply #39 on: December 23, 2011, 10:47:04 AM »
I can ruin a few Clapton Tunes  myself. This *song I don't do, while it is catchy it sends the wrong message. I like to do Claptons other Hit I Shot the Sheriff ...oops a Bob Marley also sends a mixed message. ........Just picking lol There are some really nauseating Videos on the net, I think they help us justify our sometimes miserable performances of our favorites.

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Offline Vincent

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Re: Clapton fans....cringe
« Reply #40 on: December 23, 2011, 03:24:40 PM »

Kind of gets me in the mood to do an Eric Clapton cover.

Cocaine would be a fun one to cover.

"Hideaway" with the Bluesbreakers is a song I wanted to cover for a while.

Not even sure of everything Clapton palyed on bluesbreaker album however its one of my favorite blues/blues rock album.


Offline Smurf

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The Humor Thread
« Reply #41 on: December 25, 2011, 08:46:45 PM »
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

Question,

Offline Joom

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Re: mental asylum n other "things".....
« Reply #42 on: December 25, 2011, 09:02:25 PM »
 :P :P :P :P :P
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline Karmanistic

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Offline Schprocket

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Re: XKCD
« Reply #44 on: January 02, 2012, 09:11:01 AM »
 ;D
...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: XKCD
« Reply #45 on: January 02, 2012, 11:20:57 AM »
Hear, hear!  ;D

Mind you, soon English will probably look like the first example anyway...  :D  :'(  :o
"Tomorrow never yet on any human being rose or set."
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Offline way2lon

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The Humor Thread
« Reply #46 on: January 27, 2012, 04:41:29 AM »

Thought you might get a laugh.

We had a Burn's Night at home for family.
There's (going clockwise from me
Sister in law
Brother
Brother in law
Grandaughter
Brother in law's wife
Babs (my wife)


Can you guess who the Scots were?


I can stand it but I can't hardly

Offline Joom

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #47 on: January 27, 2012, 05:02:07 AM »
 :P :P :P

Didn't understand a word of it, W, but I was laughing along anyway.  It's infectious...  :D
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline onetrackmind

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #48 on: January 27, 2012, 05:38:54 AM »
nice one Dave. i went to a burns night tues. i quite like haggis. some lady played the bagpipes and the (scottish) restaurant owner recited some robert poetry. good fun.

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #49 on: January 27, 2012, 05:51:23 AM »
Say what?  ???

Heh, as Joom said, infectious, e'en thocht Ah did nae kin a wuid ye said. :P


You need to caption that one.  ;)
"Tomorrow never yet on any human being rose or set."
-- William Marsden

Offline way2lon

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #50 on: January 27, 2012, 06:40:27 AM »
Funnily enough Jen, I could understand what you wrote there but that was more modern than Burns.
Anyway I thought you might like to hear a Scot give a reply. the poem is local BTW...not Burns.  ;D
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Offline Schprocket

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #51 on: January 27, 2012, 07:02:54 AM »
What BB wrote was Glaswegian - or at least when I read it, that's how it sounded in my head.


For yer next film, Dave, yer'll hav ter speek sum Pottrees, duck...

...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.

Offline way2lon

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #52 on: January 27, 2012, 08:01:28 AM »
Steve. I can only say 'Kek eet' (Kick it) in potrees. Though my dad always called my Mum 'duck'. Her wes not frum Silverdale bute frum Yorkshoire.
I can stand it but I can't hardly

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #53 on: January 27, 2012, 08:38:38 AM »
Oy, that I could almost understand.  ;D
"Tomorrow never yet on any human being rose or set."
-- William Marsden

Offline Schprocket

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #54 on: January 27, 2012, 06:11:09 PM »
Steve. I can only say 'Kek eet' (Kick it) in potrees. Though my dad always called my Mum 'duck'. Her wes not frum Silverdale bute frum Yorkshoire.


Mate , it's amazing how you forget the little things and how much it hangs around. I might not say "kek" but "'et" still blurts out: " If ye can't 'et it, kek it!".

And according to a guy I once worked with, "Thuz onleh two tarps uv Inglishmun, them wot cums frum Yorksha 'n' them wot wishes thee did!" - yeah he was a Yorkshire lad.
...they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.

Offline Joom

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #55 on: January 27, 2012, 10:52:16 PM »
Isn't Yorkshire the place where men are men, and the sheep are scared?

No, come to think of it I guess that's Texas...
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline agradeleous

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #56 on: January 27, 2012, 10:59:01 PM »
Funny and I will watch again LOL

Offline way2lon

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #57 on: February 02, 2012, 05:23:48 AM »

Quote
Isn't Yorkshire the place where men are men, and the sheep are scared?
People in Lancashire think all Yorkshiremen are sheep botherers. Yorkshiremen think Lancastrians are all sheep.
I can stand it but I can't hardly

Offline Joom

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Re: Address To A Haggis
« Reply #58 on: February 02, 2012, 12:17:21 PM »
 :P :P :P :P :P
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline Smurf

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The Humor Thread
« Reply #59 on: February 05, 2012, 08:11:08 PM »
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right"  :P  8)
Question,

Offline Joom

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Re: Is this proper eglish
« Reply #60 on: February 05, 2012, 08:48:51 PM »
 :P :P :P :P :P
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: Is this proper eglish
« Reply #61 on: February 07, 2012, 01:03:57 PM »
Oldie but goodie.  Kind of like a lot of the gentlemen here.  ;D
"Tomorrow never yet on any human being rose or set."
-- William Marsden

Offline Smurf

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The Humor Thread
« Reply #62 on: February 10, 2012, 12:51:12 PM »
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana.

The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate..

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles..

The brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!'

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...













'YEAH SURE, YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!!"
:o :P ;D ;) 8)
Question,

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: Two bowling teams.....
« Reply #63 on: February 10, 2012, 02:00:55 PM »
 :o ::) :P


Off topic, why is it that all hair colours have got a nickname except those with black hair?  Smells of hairism, I say.  :P
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Offline HarmonicEarth

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Re: Two bowling teams.....
« Reply #64 on: February 10, 2012, 02:05:02 PM »
:o ::) :P


Off topic, why is it that all hair colours have got a nickname except those with black hair?

How about  "Beautiful"?

Offline Joom

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Re: Two bowling teams.....
« Reply #65 on: February 10, 2012, 04:26:44 PM »
Very good, Smurf.

And you know what they call it when a blond dies her hair black?  Artificial intelligence...  ;)
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: Two bowling teams.....
« Reply #66 on: February 10, 2012, 06:01:59 PM »
How about  "Beautiful"?

So, you got a lady with black hair, do you?  ;D

Just find it curious, is all, that they don't get a moniker.  ???
"Tomorrow never yet on any human being rose or set."
-- William Marsden

Offline Smurf

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The Humor Thread
« Reply #67 on: February 18, 2012, 04:27:06 PM »
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun... "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.

This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.  He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00 and goes back to sleep.



       
Don't mess with Seniors!
Question,

Offline Joom

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Re: A Lawyer and a Senior - Olde butt a goode....
« Reply #68 on: February 18, 2012, 10:52:58 PM »
 :P :P :P

Always a good one, Smurf, one of my favorites... ;D
A computer once beat me at chess - but as it turns out it was no match for me at kickboxing... ;)

Offline BikerBabe

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Re: A Lawyer and a Senior - Olde butt a goode....
« Reply #69 on: February 19, 2012, 03:52:10 AM »
Heheh, new one to me, but a keeper.  ;D   Thanks for sharing.
"Tomorrow never yet on any human being rose or set."
-- William Marsden